In the Storm

Recently I went through some difficult circumstances that tested me emotionally and spiritually. I'll admit, it was hard to go through (although compared to the troubles so many other people have, I'm embarrassed to describe it as a "rough time" for me).

Maybe the hardest part about it was realizing that what I thought could be God's plan for me - and what I so desperately wanted it to be - wasn't. And yet I know that God was involved in everything that happened.

I am firmly convinced that God puts people in our lives for specific purposes, and that he likewise places us in others' lives to fulfill specific purposes as well. Sometimes though, it's easy to get caught up in asking the questions of "How" or "Why" and rationalizing in my finite mind why the project is incomplete, instead of accepting the Lord's blueprint.

This morning I got a text message from a particular person and then it hit me, what my purpose had been  in this person's life. I believe that God placed me in this person's life for a specific time, for specific circumstances that this person was going through. That time now has passed. When I realized what that purpose was, and that it was accomplished, the turbulence of my thoughts about the situation calmed into a final, restful peace. What I thought to be an uneasy, abrupt interruption turned out to be the Author signing off on the final page in this certain chapter of my life.

There was a storm in my life, and as the rain came down it was easy for me to focus on the size of the waves and the lightning and the rumbling thunder, even though God was there all along. He had His hand on my shoulder, guiding me. He was holding the lantern so I wouldn't be scared by my own blindness. He was whispering directions into my ear, trying to comfort me and quell the battle inside me.

It's easy to lose sight of this when we're in the middle of the storm and the ship starts to take on water. It can be difficult to hear His voice amid the din of the storm and the racket of our thoughts and the piercing screaming that penetrates and annoys us (before we realize, embarrassingly enough, that the screaming actually is coming from inside of ourselves).

And yet God was there the whole time.

Once the storm was calmed, it was easy for me to see that He was there. Don't get me wrong, at the time I knew that God had a reason for what happened - I just had a hard time accepting it. Like Thomas, I wanted evidence. I wanted to know how this outcome could fulfill my purpose in this person's life, rather than acknowledging - through trust - that in fact it did.

So I'll make a mental note for next time: Trust Him. Sometimes situations are thrown at us that are unavoidable and are tough to experience. But if we keep our eyes locked on Christ, if we keep our ears tuned to the sound of His voice, if we hold on tightly to His hand as he leads us, then we will be able to trust Him fully, as if there were no storm at all.

"See? I've got you," He says to us. "And I've had you all along."